


Envy: The Touch of an Angel

by SmackTheDevil



Series: The Seven Deadly Sins [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Boys Kissing, Brothers, Comfort/Angst, Deception, Explicit Language, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 17:50:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4929322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmackTheDevil/pseuds/SmackTheDevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unrequited love is the worst, especially when it's for your brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Envy: The Touch of an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Envy: The Touch of an Angel is part four of a series of mini-fics based around The Winchesters and the Seven Deadly Sins. Part angst and a few tears. Short and sweet and completely irrelevant! N.B Found this one hard as I don't ship Destiel (sue me, don't sue me!)

Sam wiped away the condensation from the window for a better view. It was freezing outside and for once their motel room was warm and cozy. He had been watching through the drapes as Dean stood next to the Impala talking to Castiel.  
He was amazed how neither of them seemed to be minding the cold nor noticed that it had started to snow again despite there already being a thick layer on the ground.

Dean leaned into Cas and spoke into his ear. And then they both laughed. Sam was always slightly thrown when Cas laughed because it wasn't a natural thing for him to do. But then Cas wasn't natural in the normal way. He proved this by promptly vanishing from the spot he was standing while Dean skipped happily through the snow, treating Sam to a little way-off-Broadway dance spectacular. 

Back inside, Dean poured himself a whiskey and made himself comfortable on his bed.

“What did Cas want?”

“Ah, nothing. Just having an 'angel-crisis'.”

Sam nodded expecting more.

“That all?”

“Yeah. You know what Cas is like. Every day on earth is just one big adventure. He's still adjusting I guess. I'm taking the car tomorrow, just for a day or so.”

“With Cas?” 

Dean nodded slowly.

“You don't need me?”

“Nah. You need some time to yourself, Sammy. Get yourself wasted and laid.”

Sam pulled a face then shook his head slowly.

“There's more to do in life than getting drunk on cheap whiskey and sleeping with strangers.”

“There is?” Dean was sarcastic, but Sam missed it completely.

“Well yeah. Reading, research.” He couldn't think of much else.

Dean just stared at him with a straight face.  
“You're a dork.”

The next day Dean was up earlier than usual, Sam was still sleeping as he crept about the room packing a small holdall.  
Sam stirred then fumbled for the alarm clock on his nightstand.

“Early?” He mumbled.

“Long drive, buddy.”

Sam sat up and eyed his brother. Then stretched his neck out to peer inside the bag.

“Is that your best shirt?”

Dean scoffed.

“Best shirt? I don't have a 'best shirt'.”

“Yeah you do. You wear it when we go to bars and when you're horny.” Sam smiled to himself and stifled a yawn.

“It's comfortable, yeah. But it ain't special.”

“Okay. I only asked.”

Dean threw his holdall over his shoulder and looked at Sam seriously.

“Now. Are you going to be a good boy while your big brother is out of town?” He leaned over and ruffled Sams' hair.

“Yeah, yeah. Funny. Is Cas coming here?”

“He's gonna meet me there.”

“Where is 'there'?”

“Sammy. If you keep asking me questions like that, I may have to call my lawyer and divorce you. Enjoy some quiet time. Eat some books or whatever it is you nerds do. I'll see you in a couple of days.”

Sam sat quiet and still in his bed as Dean left their room. He hadn't been that accurate with the truth. While he agreed with himself that there would be a whole lot of reading to catch up on. Peaceful reading without Dean singing or talking or dragging him out to seedy bars. He also admitted that most of the time would be pining for Dean and then checking the parking lot every five seconds whenever he heard a car.

He felt quite sad about the situation. That is where he was now. Deeply sad. He had confronted confusion, disgust, and morality. Compared to the sadness he felt, they had been a piece of cake.  
Sam had come to terms with how he felt for his brother. Their bond cut deeper than any other relationship he had had in his life. Now that he knew that he loved him, everything was clearer to him with the aside that he could never tell him. Instead, Sam was to live a life of quiet worship of his God-like brother.

Dean had promised to call later the same day. Neither had really understood why this was necessary, but it was an arrangement they had made between them.

By 10 pm that evening, Sam hadn't heard from Dean at all. He had spent the day reading and running and researching. After checking his phone for the tenth time, he decided to call him anyway. The call went straight to voicemail. Slightly irked Sam settled down for the evening with coffee and his second book of the day.

Next day, Sam woke with a jolt. His book still open on his chest, his coffee half drunk and freezing cold. His waking thought was Dean. He missed him and really wanted to hear his voice. It was too early to call.

By about lunchtime, Sam found himself feeling cabin feverish. The next town was only a bus journey away. No Dean meant no car in this case and Sam was never too proud to take the bus. Through an internet search, he found that the town had a vast library and 'awarding coffee house' and a popular vegetarian café. He found the combination amusing and wondered what Dean would say about 'Sam Town'.

The journey was short, 30 minutes, give or take. The town was small, largely surrounded by large family homes, the main street running through the center which was filled with independent retailers and places to eat. It was pleasant and a welcome change to the dank walls of the motel room.

Having located the award winning coffee house pretty quickly, he found himself sitting by the window. It was steamed up and the outside frame was edged with snow like a Christmas card scene. Just as he was about to blow gently onto the surface of his coffee he saw Cas on the other side of the street.  
He stopped for a moment and then went to stand to attract his attention. And then the ass completely fell out of his world. Dean came out from a small hotel across the street, he looked around carefully then grabbed Castiel by his coat around a corner and broad daylight kissed him up against the bare bricks of the hotel.

Sam froze. His eyes instantly filled with tears as he slowly sat back down in his seat and stared blankly out into space. He could sense they were still there but couldn't make himself look. He felt like a lead weight, his stomach was in knots and he felt just about ready to throw up. Swallowing hard he and clenching his fists he allowed himself a quick glance from the corner of his eye. Dean and Cas had gone and Sam wondered, or rather hoped that what he had just seen was nothing but a horrible dream.

Sams' journey back to the motel had been hazy. He lost chunks of time which were spent in a complete zoned-out state. And the rest of the time, thinking so hard, his brain trying to make sense of everything that he brought on a dull headache which pressed against his forehead.  
He laid on his bed fully clothed. His boots wet from the snow. Staring at the ceiling he went through every possible scenario he could think of. Questions left his mind like streams of ticker tape. Sam didn't know how to deal with it. There was no amount of research or reading that would solve a problem like this and he for once was entirely alone.

Sam woke with a start. It was dark as he fumbled about looking for the time, as he did a hand reached over to his.

“Sleeping with your clothes on Sammy. What are you, 11?”

The night-light was switched on, it was Dean.

“You're back,” Sam said gruffly. He cleared his throat and sat up.

“Nice detective work, genius.”

“I wasn't expecting you back so early.”

Dean sat on the edge of the bed nudging against Sams' thigh with his knee.

“Cas had some business.”

Sam swallowed slowly then looked down at his hands, fingers fidgeting.

“I saw you.”

“Huh?” Dean slapped Sams' hands. “What are you doing?”

Sams' head was still down.

“I said I saw you, Dean, with Cas. In town.”

Dean couldn't back out of this one. His stomach lurched and he knew his brother well enough to know that he had seen more than the two of them just sitting there enjoying the view with coffee.

“Ah, yeah. I was gonna tell you about that.” Dean stood up and pulled his jeans up by the belt. He laughed a little, trying his best to lightened the mood as he always does.

“Are you gay?” Sam looked up at his brother. His eyes red and glassy.

“Gay? Nah, I mean. Some might say gay. Others may say 'experimental'.” Dean was being awkward and moving around like he needed the bathroom.

“Oh.” Sam paused. “Cas though? Really?”

Dean shrugged, but there was little he could say to accompany it.

“You're always saying he's creepy. Like a creepy..” Sam paused again. “I remember now, you said he was like a creepy hot Gramps. I always wondered why you had called him hot.”

“Well, he is,” Dean muttered with a sprinkling of embarrassment.

Sam felt utterly sad and a little heartbroken. He felt rejected even though he knew he could never tell Dean how he felt about him. He fought back tears and then oddly let his mind wander. Imagining Dean and Cas together. The room was silent. Dean was too afraid to speak, so just stood there watching his brother process.

“I'm going to have a shower. You just sit there, okay little brother. I'll give you all the time you need.” Dean patted him gently on the shoulder which made Sam feel tingly. That very second, something arose in Sam. As if Deans' touch had ignited dark emotions.

“I'm going out,” He called after Dean who had already shut himself in the bathroom. He heard a muffled response and then the sound of the shower being switched on.

Sam exited the motel room with haste, then ran until he was away from the grounds. Out of breath, he looked up and called for Castiel.  
A few minutes passed.

“Sam?” 

Sams' head was still skywards, his eyes closed. He paused for a moment. Even hearing the angels voice clawed at his insides. He could barely muster any energy nor even any need to look at him.

“Sam? You did pray for me.”

Sam scoffed and then looked straight at Cas. He stood still and straight except for his head which was cocked to one side. He looked a little confused but then he generally did.

“No Cas. I did not 'pray' for you. I called you.”

“Sam, I sense there is some urgency in your need for me. You took me away from a meeting.”

“Oh, I see.” Sam nodded. He was becoming increasingly angry. As if he was confronting a criminal who had stolen the most precious possession away from him. “What is your business with my brother?”

Cas frowned slightly.

“My business with your brother is none of your concern.”

“Did Dean tell you to say that?”

“Yes, he did.”

Sam rolled his eyes at Cas' honesty so decided to match it.

“Please stay away from him, Cas. I don't think you quite understand what it is you're doing.” Sam could fight his tears no more. “I mean it Cas. Stay away from him!” 

“Why, Sam?” It was Deans' voice, muffled by the snow but slowly approaching. “Why are you doing this? Why are you fuckin' crying?”

“I feel I am no longer needed here.”

“Yeah, fuck off Cas!”

“Woah, woah. Take it easy with that mouth!”

“You can fuck off too, Dean!” Sam was screaming at both of them even though Cas had made a sudden and well-informed retreat.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Sammy?” Sam was walking in small circles, his hands sliding up into his hair and gripping his head. Dean reached over to him trying to calm him down. “Hey, buddy. Calm down, okay.” Dean wrapped his arms around his little brother and felt his long frame collapse against his body. They both slowly sunk to the ground, their knees buried in the powdery snow. Sam sobbed. He cried so hard against Dean that it made him retch repeatedly.

Dean was mystified as to why Sam was like this and was too afraid to ask, so just held him and kissed him on the head like he used when they were boys. 

“Please don't leave me.” Sam gripped his brother tightly.

“I ain't ever gonna leave you, Sammy. Not for anyone or anything. We go for good together.”

Sam knew nothing could break their bond as brothers and that no matter how many dalliances Dean would have, Sam had him more than any one has or ever would. He took comfort from this as he clung to his big brother in the snow.


End file.
